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Write down and detail your explicit feelings on what made this experience so horrible. Not for him but for you. The more you can be clear with yourself about the awfulness of this experience, the less likely you will be to repeat it.
I suspect that the guilt of cheating isn't the only ember here. Try to figure out what aspect of the sex was traumatic as well. Maybe you're not as attracted to women as you thought. Maybe the foursome dynamic was humiliating and dominating. What about the feeling of losing control or shame about your old high school obsession.
Breaking your feelings down and defining the causes of your fallout anxiety is very important to do before you can confidently commit yourself to your boyfriend again. It will help you better communicate with him at the very least.
Good luck and chalk this one up to mistakes to learn from.
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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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