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Though I can see the effort that went into this piece, and note the intimate knowledge of the "Girl" placed into the wording, I cannot see the benefit of such a long piece if the intent is to court. As a general rule an Epic piece of Poetry should tell a story, rather than pick apart a single subject.
If this work was Half as long, it might make a statement, and capture the readers interest. I recommend a re-write to shorten the length.....there is well written material hidden in the fluff.
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