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Abaya, both of your points are well taken. I guess that my point is that the work "kinky" is so subjective and not only varies from individual to individual but also varies from situation to situation. I've done things with girlfriends that I'll never even suggest to my wife since she's not into the precursors to those things. The reverse is true too (at least in past tense). Perhaps its time to retire "kinky" as a label.
As far as your second point, it also speaks to the above. Perhaps the use of "fetish" is better since that word has psychiatric ramifications. The fetishes that immediately come to mind (mostly because I used them above) are pedophilia, scat and bestiality. Of these, two involve partners unable to consent (pedophilia and bestiality) and two involve major general health issues (scat and bestiality). I'm not trying to particularly demonize bestialilty but it just happens to fit in both issues. I don't think that we'll find anyone to argue the benefits of pedophilia here, and I sincerely doubt that we'll have any horse-fuckers or shit-eaters step up to the plate either. However, both of the latter are fantastic ways to spread disease (Ebola anyone?).
I'm sorry, but as a champion changer of poopy diapers, I can tell you that fecal matter breaks down skin and causes infections unless it's properly handled. Spreading shit all over your partner will eventually make them sick.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with most fetishes, but I firmly believe that there are some that are doubtlessly unhealthy. Am I wrong?
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