Baraka_Guru

Okay, at the risk of going off on a rant here, I'm going to respond to this.

First, I don't believe feminism of any form killed romance. I think the manifestation of what we still idealize as romance died long before that. I would put the date at around the Great Wars and the advent of Modernism. By the time Modernist ideals came around, we lost our faith in just about every institution that we had come to rely on... I think the institution of love and relationships was one of them. Many around the world underwent a massive transition in the way we live. Never again will our societies be the same.

Yet, we still cling onto certain ideals. Romance being one. Feminism was not a response to the institution of relationships per se, there were a number of factors, most of which were rooted in the public sphere, not behind closed doors. I don't want to get into a discussion of feminism here, but I will say that it remains to be one of the most misunderstood and misconstrued ideas to come out of the twentieth century... possibly second only to post-modernism.

Now, about romance. I would like to point out that the ideal of romance that we uphold is kind of cheesy, isn't it? Just type in "romance ideas" into Google and read some of those tips. Is this what any of us want? If you want a good relationship, you don't need to play these little games, you just need to be yourself and respect your partner for who they are and everything will fall into place on its own. If that doesn't work out, then the relationship would be doomed no matter what.

In my opinion, one of the leading causes of relationship failures is inflated and/or mismatched expectations at the outset. Both men and women are guilty of this, and who can we blame except a society that is still clinging onto outmoded ideals that are long dead. You want romance? Read some classic literature. We can even start a new thread on some good recommendations.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot