Thanks for your response Abaya.
I can agree with the "comfort zone" idea that you and Roachboy submit but one hardly needs to leave the States to have that experience. For example, Teach America or any one of a number of national organizations deliver an experience of being outside one's own comfort zone and walking in another man's shoes. In one case, my brother spent his Spring Break on a Chippewa reservation, which blew his mind away. It helped him understand what other minorities go through etc. The next summer he spent working with gang youth in Detroit. These experiences are well qualified as outside the comfort zone and learning about other cultures and learning how difficult it is to "find a place in culture and society". As a former remedial student, I am all too familiar with the trials and tribulations of trying to find a place in culture and society. And every time I work the homeless shelter in Hollywood I am reminded of that.
While I agree that traveling and living abroad is a great idea in general, it most certainly is not a definitive gateway to broader understanding and empathy. Most Americans I meet overseas remain distinctly American. Most don't bother to learn any words of the language (especially since English is so widely spoken), and most seem to miss the nuances and sublimity of the local culture. Not all of course, but many. In fact, it always seems like they just want to storm the local tourist attraction, take pictures then go get drunk.
In general, I think learning languages is a wonderful thing. I am the "retard" in my family because I only know 3 languages whereas everyone else knows more. But I think the empathy for fellow immigrants and would-be Americans need not necessarily come from the task of learning another language, but rather one of learning the common tongue of your adopted home. All immigrants had to learn English and I believe that is one of the most unifying things in our country. As a son of immigrants, I also live in a heavy immigrant neighborhood that is fairly diverse. Most speak poor English, but with pride and wave the Stars and Stripes with enthusiasm. Only segment of the neighborhood refuses to learn English and flies a different flag. Although I speak their language, there is still a major barrier there that is not present with the other immigrant groups in our neighborhood.
I don't think Americans think it's easy to learn English as most don't even speak it properly and are barely literate. However, "bad" English is the common unifier and everyone can learn and speak bad English with relative ease. It's part of the dynamic nature of our strange and fascinating language. Where else do you get "truthiness" and "bootylicious"? (I had a difficult time trying to explain bootylicious to a bunch of Egyptians when I was in Egypt this summer
).
Abaya, I don't think it's a fantasy, I think we are on our way there, slowly but surely. We can thank globalization in part for it. Your own marriage is a fantastic example and the numbers are only growing. We could all do with opening up our minds a bit, regardless of where we stand on this issue.
You can enroll your kids in language class right alongside with mine.