Quote:
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Originally Posted by Sultana
Stop looking at your parents and start focusing on yourself.
Rewrite:
"If I do not accomplish my goals, it will COMPLETELY be because of ME stopping me from doing them..."
That's the truth of it.
Like hrandani said:
"...if you're about to kill yourself, why be so uptight about everything. Stop caring about what other people think, and do shit you think you might enjoy."
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I agree with hrandani, but my parents did things to me that have set me back 20 years. If I can't become an excellent musician until I'm the age of 40, then how am I supposed to support myself for the 20 years before that? How am I supposed to make friends any time soon if I have no social skills because of my parents? The things they did to me, I could not prevent because I wasn't intelligent enough growing up to see through them. I was not brought up to be an individual - I was brought up to be afraid of authority and to have no sense of my place in a community. I don't see how I can all of a sudden forgive my parents who I can not get away from and put the entire burden on myself to search for self esteem and self confidence. How can I live a productive life if I graduate college with no self respect?
Basically, I have a 1.5 year window to learn to love myself and to learn social skills. If I do not do it by the time I graduate, I will not make it in the real world. I also only have a 1.5 year window to become an avid musician, something that is said to take 10 years. I could have been doing all of this when I was 10 years old, but now I'm stuck starting at 21.
And I'm supposed to put this all on myself and not blame my parents?