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I recall that your family is at least partially Asian, right? And if so, I hear ya on that one, big time. I'm 28 and have lived away from home for a good 10 years, but my mom seems to constantly think that I'll move right back home as soon as I get my PhD (uggh) and will pop out grandchildren for her pleasure after that. She gets jealous of my HUSBAND, for crying out loud. She recognizes that it's because she's insecure, but then she does very little to work on that.
Then again, she is also Thai, and Thai parents are notorious for sheltering their daughters for as long as possible (I'm an only child, too), and then as soon as they are making an income, becoming dependent on their children and expecting them to take care of the parents until they die. Not that I have a huge ethical issue with that, because I do feel it is reciprocity, but at the same time my mom seeks no life outside of mine.
It is a real burden of culture, I feel, and it makes me both sad and resentful. I don't have any answers for you, because I know it isn't as easy as saying "Just move out, cut off ties, etc." But there may be ways for you to gradually establish your independence from them... open a secret bank account and put away some money every month. And do confront them on how unhealthy this all is, and whether or not they want you to actually have no life and not meet any women (that will get their attention) and start a family. Ask them what they imagine you doing in 5 years, and how they expect you to get there, with this kind of life? Something like that.
Best of luck, man.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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