Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I worry about what others think... all the time

Seznec · 01-15-2007, 07:31 PM

I lived trough the same. My mother was never there and my father lived somewhere else, but mentally abused me. I never learnt to be social from my family and we didn't have any friends and family.

YOU where an angry guy! I was too
YOU saw its better not be! Me too
NOW YOU have to find the middle of both! I did

At that point where you ware I was totally fu up and always asking myself why people don't like me and why they will not even start a conversation with me. I was really scared and insecure. I thought my look would make me so infamous so I lost 57.2 (lbs) 28kg) and nearly killed myself by doing it so FAST. Did it help? Not really, because it wasn’t a problem.

So one time I was so angry with that guy that mobbed me now over years in school that I really hit him really hard and he went down in front of the whole school. Long story short - I lost the fight and was nearly blue everywhere, but that doesn't matter. It was a sacrifice I had to do for the better cause. You will not get fame, respect, or how you call it if you don't sacrifice anything. Through that I had achieved something - respect. After that people said it was good hat I had stood my ground and that I finally cared about my life.

YOU have to change your attitude to be happy

I nearly thanked that guy for pushing me so hard that I began to care about myself and defended myself

Most people don't relies that you have to be guided how to be social, strong, ignorant, but still be open minded. Yes, you need from everything the optimum. Like you need food and water. You can't live with only water you also need food. You get what I am saying?

Neither my mother nor my father where social. They live now over 20 years in the same city and barley know people and you need to know people to get friends. That’s the way it runs. If nobody tells you how to handle complete strangers than how do you want to get mates and in the long term find friends with your interests?

Anyway what does it tell yourself if you can't even talk properly with strangers? You can't talk to strangers. How do you want to talk to friends, if you can’t talk to complete strangers?
How confident does that make you? If the cashier in a shop totally blows you away by saying something and they other costumer look at you weird than does that make you a good feeling? No? Than stand your ground and make a counter. Say anything just don't crush him totally. Just give him a notice that he isn't to judge you. Remember? Water - Food? Be protective, but be kind

I found out that the most things you think are totally not interesting for others people. Like the most common thing people don't understand in Europe is if someone asks "How are you?" than they actually don't ask. That’s for an American normal, but in Europe there are still people that answer honestly and telling people there problems although they are totally not interested in it. So how do you want to find mates if the first 10 words go totally wrong

Imagine you are hanging out with some people from your class room at lunch. Now normally people joke around make and say stupid stuff. You have to keep in mind for someone that never "learnt" this he will make many mistakes, because he doesn't know how to handle it.

As an intelligent human you would think what a load of crap they are saying/doing and that they are dumb. FALSE - That are kids/youngster, they say/do crap. "Do the role play" with them and you will see its fun. BUT, there is always a BUT.

Ill tell you something, how you look doesn't interest anyone, as long as you don't look or smell like a dustbin. It’s what your MENTAL impression you give the people. They will not respect you if you are curled up and insecure and no offense this is different if you are male or female. I am talking about male now. You always have to stand your ground. Most times they test you in the first few minute like saying like:
,,Why the hell don't you smoke, that’s uncool."
Most times these kind of people will say these things in front of some people to dismantle you properly, test you if you are weak and to make himself more confident.

My reaction would have been before more defense and I would have said quietly:
,, So, is that a problem?"

That’s totally wrong. You have to step forward and say in a louder tone:
,,So what? You have a fu problem with that!"

AT this moment you stood your ground and this person knows now you are no easy target and will probably talk to you normally if you don't mess it up after.
REMEMBER it doesn't matter if you could take that guy down. Just the gesture that he will have to battle you will probably turn him of and he will walk to someone else, which isn't your problem for the moment.
ALSO REMEMBER, don't crush him totally, don't be totally mean or it will BACKFIRE!

So the people know you are a normal human and they start to talking to you, you shouldn't mess it up by saying something stupid. You do that by being smart and using your brain. You have to go on the same, probably lower, level. We called that in school "not to disqualify yourself".

If you are with a group of people you barley know and you just hang out with them, because you have to (most likely in school), than don't say anything stupid. Like if they start asking each other what your favorite TV show and everyone says Star Trek and you say something else whats totally girlish like than you just disqualified yourself. In these situations you have to go mainstream. If someone tells a joke and everyone laughs than just laugh too. But don't try telling a joke if you are not 101% sure that the joke will NOT fail. You would make a fool out of yourself.

I know many people say don't be mainstream and use your brain, but it’s not SOCIAL you can use your brain and also go with the stream. I always had an other opinion and told everyone about them. But your opinion doesn't always fit in. You have to make the people feel that you have something in common with you.

I didn't know this what I just wrote just now and NO ONE every told me. I than started thinking why they don't like me.

People don't like other people that don't fit in. You have to fit in to feel good and if you feel good u will find mates and with them you will find friends with your interests

It took me over 3 hours to write this text, because I don't want you to give up your personality, but the hard fact of life is it doesn't count always

Oh and by the way, we will see if my image of life is correct. There will be probably people now writing that my opinion is totally wrong. I will counter and write back defending my opinion, with an open mind. My opinion could be false, but I am pretty sure at the moment that my "opinion" is quit good and I will try doing my best to defend my opinion although this is easier, because they actually can't see my Hair. You know what I mean?

01-15-2007, 07:31 PM	#30 (permalink)
Seznec Upright	I lived trough the same. My mother was never there and my father lived somewhere else, but mentally abused me. I never learnt to be social from my family and we didn't have any friends and family. YOU where an angry guy! I was too YOU saw its better not be! Me too NOW YOU have to find the middle of both! I did At that point where you ware I was totally fu up and always asking myself why people don't like me and why they will not even start a conversation with me. I was really scared and insecure. I thought my look would make me so infamous so I lost 57.2 (lbs) 28kg) and nearly killed myself by doing it so FAST. Did it help? Not really, because it wasn’t a problem. So one time I was so angry with that guy that mobbed me now over years in school that I really hit him really hard and he went down in front of the whole school. Long story short - I lost the fight and was nearly blue everywhere, but that doesn't matter. It was a sacrifice I had to do for the better cause. You will not get fame, respect, or how you call it if you don't sacrifice anything. Through that I had achieved something - respect. After that people said it was good hat I had stood my ground and that I finally cared about my life. YOU have to change your attitude to be happy I nearly thanked that guy for pushing me so hard that I began to care about myself and defended myself Most people don't relies that you have to be guided how to be social, strong, ignorant, but still be open minded. Yes, you need from everything the optimum. Like you need food and water. You can't live with only water you also need food. You get what I am saying? Neither my mother nor my father where social. They live now over 20 years in the same city and barley know people and you need to know people to get friends. That’s the way it runs. If nobody tells you how to handle complete strangers than how do you want to get mates and in the long term find friends with your interests? Anyway what does it tell yourself if you can't even talk properly with strangers? You can't talk to strangers. How do you want to talk to friends, if you can’t talk to complete strangers? How confident does that make you? If the cashier in a shop totally blows you away by saying something and they other costumer look at you weird than does that make you a good feeling? No? Than stand your ground and make a counter. Say anything just don't crush him totally. Just give him a notice that he isn't to judge you. Remember? Water - Food? Be protective, but be kind I found out that the most things you think are totally not interesting for others people. Like the most common thing people don't understand in Europe is if someone asks "How are you?" than they actually don't ask. That’s for an American normal, but in Europe there are still people that answer honestly and telling people there problems although they are totally not interested in it. So how do you want to find mates if the first 10 words go totally wrong Imagine you are hanging out with some people from your class room at lunch. Now normally people joke around make and say stupid stuff. You have to keep in mind for someone that never "learnt" this he will make many mistakes, because he doesn't know how to handle it. As an intelligent human you would think what a load of crap they are saying/doing and that they are dumb. FALSE - That are kids/youngster, they say/do crap. "Do the role play" with them and you will see its fun. BUT, there is always a BUT. Ill tell you something, how you look doesn't interest anyone, as long as you don't look or smell like a dustbin. It’s what your MENTAL impression you give the people. They will not respect you if you are curled up and insecure and no offense this is different if you are male or female. I am talking about male now. You always have to stand your ground. Most times they test you in the first few minute like saying like: ,,Why the hell don't you smoke, that’s uncool." Most times these kind of people will say these things in front of some people to dismantle you properly, test you if you are weak and to make himself more confident. My reaction would have been before more defense and I would have said quietly: ,, So, is that a problem?" That’s totally wrong. You have to step forward and say in a louder tone: ,,So what? You have a fu problem with that!" AT this moment you stood your ground and this person knows now you are no easy target and will probably talk to you normally if you don't mess it up after. REMEMBER it doesn't matter if you could take that guy down. Just the gesture that he will have to battle you will probably turn him of and he will walk to someone else, which isn't your problem for the moment. ALSO REMEMBER, don't crush him totally, don't be totally mean or it will BACKFIRE! So the people know you are a normal human and they start to talking to you, you shouldn't mess it up by saying something stupid. You do that by being smart and using your brain. You have to go on the same, probably lower, level. We called that in school "not to disqualify yourself". If you are with a group of people you barley know and you just hang out with them, because you have to (most likely in school), than don't say anything stupid. Like if they start asking each other what your favorite TV show and everyone says Star Trek and you say something else whats totally girlish like than you just disqualified yourself. In these situations you have to go mainstream. If someone tells a joke and everyone laughs than just laugh too. But don't try telling a joke if you are not 101% sure that the joke will NOT fail. You would make a fool out of yourself. I know many people say don't be mainstream and use your brain, but it’s not SOCIAL you can use your brain and also go with the stream. I always had an other opinion and told everyone about them. But your opinion doesn't always fit in. You have to make the people feel that you have something in common with you. I didn't know this what I just wrote just now and NO ONE every told me. I than started thinking why they don't like me. People don't like other people that don't fit in. You have to fit in to feel good and if you feel good u will find mates and with them you will find friends with your interests It took me over 3 hours to write this text, because I don't want you to give up your personality, but the hard fact of life is it doesn't count always Oh and by the way, we will see if my image of life is correct. There will be probably people now writing that my opinion is totally wrong. I will counter and write back defending my opinion, with an open mind. My opinion could be false, but I am pretty sure at the moment that my "opinion" is quit good and I will try doing my best to defend my opinion although this is easier, because they actually can't see my Hair. You know what I mean?