Thread: Lodger Worries
View Single Post
Old 01-09-2007, 02:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
Manorfire
Upright
 
Location: England
Thank you host: you've accurately paraphrased my problem and you're right - I should weigh up the pros and cons of him as a person, rather than focus on his gender. Sometimes, I feel like I'm slowly deserting the principles I've always upheld. I am disappointed with myself for even having these feelings, though ignoring them, at this stage, would not be a good idea.

I hope in all earnest that I'm accepting of his sexuality and I'd have similar feelings concerning every male lodger who states they are a loner...He certainly appears to debunk the common stereotype that gay men have an abundance of female friends. He has a boyfriend, who lives in a nearby city, and has asked if he could stay over on occasion. I am agreeable, providing his boyfriend is of good character.

I checked out the references he gave me and they back up my first impressions of him. Provided his referees are being honest, and I sense that they are, he would make an exemplary lodger. Apart from his apparent lack of social 'aspects', I would be blatantly discriminating against the chap for not taking him on. His viewpoint, similar to my own, is that society does not 'embrace' him too much, so I'd feel particulary poor for treating him that way. After all, him providing me with light entertainment, on top of everything else, does not form part of the contract.

It took my previous lodgers a little while to relax around me, so perhaps he will become more exuberant as time goes by. If not, maybe it will give me the kick to find more interaction away from home. Two near recluses in the same household will not be good for any of us. He doesn't finish his degree until July 2008 and then might do a post-grad course, so he might be my housemate for a while. Hopefully, we will welcome the stability.

Should I share any of my concerns with him, in the hope that he somehow reassures me, or should I keep them to myself?
Manorfire is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360