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Sorry to tell you - this is not going to happen. Nope. Never in a million years. Skier is correct.
If you try to paint them, the paint will come off - some immediately, some over time.
Dye/stain them, and most, if not all of the color will come off. What remains will look like poop.
The only thing you can do is hide them under fabric or stuff them into oversized Dutch wooden shoes.
You've got yellow shoes, my friend. If you don't want anybody to notice while you are wearing them, then I suggest you go topless. Just a thought. I'm an idea-man.
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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
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