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Originally Posted by dalnet22
Also... if I had a girlfriend who appreciated me the way I am, I wouldn't care at all how I looked. In fact, I would be secure in all facets. That's really the big concern, I think. I'm so worried I won't find a girl who likes me unless I look the way I want. If I'm walking around looking like a joke, why would any girl (that is my type) be attracted to me?
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Whoa! Stop right there.
Ok, you cannot put that pressure on someone else. There is no one out there that is responsible for you. A good relationship is focused on enhancing each other's lives and enjoying each other's company. Not putting the pressure on someone to fix your problems. That spells disaster in a relationship. Resentment and dependency will build and is that something you really want?
Second, if you are walking around like the way your posts make you sound, you probably won't find a girl. I'm saying this to be completely honest. I may be wrong, but this is my intuitive guess. You probably walk around hunched, don't make eye contact, and are unsure of yourself when you speak which could come off as speaking too quietly, stuttering, or cutting off words. I was that way until about my 2nd year of college. After I became a bit more sure of myself I started being more aware of how I was presenting myself and the change in attention was amazing. I am not talking about physical appearance. People are not always aware of the signals they are sending out with their mannerisms. You could have a perfect physical appearance, but your mannerism will negate them everytime if they lack confidence. This also goes the other way. Which is why you will see girls with the Goth/heroin look with nasty unwashed hair and guys with the tousled/rumpled look seeming so incredibly sexy. You put someone in that look that has unsure mannerisms and blech.
Insecurity is a huge turn-off. I feel like a broken record, but you have to become more secure in yourself and get some confidence or you will be miserable for a long time.