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Originally Posted by Supple Cow
I apologize for missing the joke. I guess I am taking everything in this thread somberly because the OP, for me, is a very serious issue and one that I am very tired of dealing with. In fact, I find it very difficult to talk about it at all, and it's not for lack of opinion or feeling on the subject. I was just trying to ease myself into the discussion by engaging others about their own ideas before I found myself unintentionally unleashing a lot of misdirected anger.
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What about the OP do you find personally distressing? 'Cause we've strayed quite a ways from the original subject of this thread. Of course, in a broader sense, one could certainly draw some parallels. In that there are various reasons why women judge each other on appearance.
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I'm glad to read your response to this, mostly because I agree and respect what you have to say about it, I would be glad even if you had exactly the opposite to say. My intent was only to spur further discussion by prodding you for a fuller explanation of your reasoning. I hope it wasn't too harsh or uninviting.
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Don't sweat it. You certainly haven't offended me. In fact, I've kind of enjoyed our little exchange. Thoughtful conversation is always welcome here, as is prodding me to make myself more clear, lol.
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You use the word "expect" and I am trying to understand why it is reasonable to make this assumption. I think it is certainly possible that many people think these two things go together, just as there are people (like me) who see them as two very different things. If I see a woman behaving a certain way in the street, I feel that it is justified to silently judge her at the same time as not judging people who are posting nude art photographs on the internet. That is not hypocrisy because they are different things to me.
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I don't mean to use the word "expect" to mean that we should expect everyone to cast these judgments about women at TFP, just that it should not be
unexpected to find that there are people who do. Personally, I am a very accepting person on these issues - the posting of pictures for any reason and the exposure of one's sexual nature and thoughts through words - I don't have a problem with any of it. That's not to say that I don't cast judgments on people for other things, I have to say that I do, but if someone is engaging in activities or ideas that are of no harm to
nor infringing upon the rights of anyone else, then I tend to be very lenient in my assessments of them. Especially if I don't know them.
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Maybe you don't make this distinction because you are including the non-art exhibition posts (the women "engaged in sexual activity on the internet for strangers"). Or does that make a difference to you? Of course, even people engaging in sexual activity on the internet doesn't offend my sensibilities if the intention is still art or some form of personal liberation. My personal line of judgment is crossed when the intention is to attract a certain kind of attention that is driven by an unhealthy need for validation (which doesn't ever seem to be fulfilled). In real life, I judge people based on this all the time - I just don't rudely throw it in their faces or make life-changing decisions based on it. I'm sure my snap judgements turn out to be wrong a lot. But some of my snap judgments are fed evidence that supports them, and those turn into more permanent opinions I hold about those people.
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I understand. Yes there are women out there with unhealthy needs for validation, often through their sexuality and attraction of the opposite sex. While most women exhibit some of these tendencies - after all, we are biologically predisposed to them to some extent - some take them to an extreme. But where we might part ways is in our assessments of their character. I don't judge them harshly for being that way. It doesn't mean they are a less kind or thoughtful person. It doesn't mean they are a thief or a liar or a disloyal or selfish person. They are being stigmatized by a society that sees them as less than good women simply because they are promiscuous - for whatever reason there is behind their promiscuity.
Now whenever I get to talking like this, the little voice in my head says: "you sound like a know-it-all who thinks she reacts perfectly to every situation." And I just want to say, no, that's not true. I do rush to judgment on my own personal irks and whims. Like whenever I see a guy wearing a pair of shorts with socks and sandals on I think to myself,
what the fuck is that guy thinking? No, no, just kidding, I'm not saying that's the same thing. But I do cast knee-jerk assumptions more often than I'd like, especially when it comes to religious and political persuasions.
I don't know, somebody stop me, I'm just going on and on and on....shut me up.
I just want people to be nicer to each other. That's my main purview. The objective I have been meandering my way toward for the last 41 years. By all means, I am not perfect, but I'm trying.