Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Supple Cow
But I think you are taking not beating yourself up over it too far when you take something you're not proud of and try to spin it as something you are. I don't think I should be proud of some of the things I've done, and from what I've heard from you (and abaya, to be fair), I don't think that you should be proud of those things either. (I'll emphasize here that this is my own personal opinion, and that I am trying to discuss ideas and not engage in personal attacks.)
|
I'm not trying to spin it as something that I'm proud of. I'm exhibiting a sense of humor about it. I accept what I have done in the past and also accept that all of my experiences, good, bad, poor choices or not, are directly responsible for the woman I am today. I am not proud of everything I've done, but I am not ashamed of them, either. I didn't hurt anyone or act out of malice, deceit or any other malintention. There are far worse things a person can do to garner shame and judgment than sleep around, after all. I like to keep things in perspective. And furthermore, I refuse to take on the lifelong self-stigmatization of being a "victim" of what some might consider my "slutty" behavior. I'm not saying that you were implying any of those things...just free-thinking. But I sense a little of that in some posts on this thread.
Quote:
|
If I am completely misinterpreting your posts, please correct me. If not, I would like to ask that you examine these things for yourself (and I mean everyone) and think about why it seems okay to reclaim the word "slut" in the same way some women have tried to reclaim "bitch"? I don't think those two words are the same thing because
|
I reclaim the word slut because within the confines of a relationship I am perfectly content to act like one. I enjoy it. It's very freeing and pleasant for me. It seems okay because
it is okay - for me. Perhaps not for you. Then don't reclaim it for yourself. Personally, I have just as much problem with the pejorative use of bitch as I do slut.
Quote:
|
The reason we can have certain judgements in the real world and not here on the TFP is because this is the internet. The real world and the internet are completely different contexts. Would you wear the same thing you wear out on a date if you were at the office? Would you wear a bathing suit to the post office? A bathing suit is appropriate at the beach, right, so why not at the post office?
|
I disagree with this. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect that someone who would say a girl looks slutty walking down the street with her thong exposed in the back would say the same about a woman posting pictures of herself nude on the internet. And to be clear, I DO NOT THINK THESE THINGS ABOUT EITHER OF THEM. Just trying to make a point.
Quote:
|
I disagree that the TFP is about opening ourselves up without fear of judgement. It is also about evolution, and I think an important qualifier to your statement is the word "undue". If we outlaw judgment, then we kill growth. Undue or unfair judgment is another story. Also, I don't think the primary focus is for opening ourselves sexually, and if it seems that way, it's probably just because most people have a lot more room for opening up in that arena than they do in others.
|
Well, I didn't use the word "undue" in that quote, but perhaps I did elsewhere. I am not looking to outlaw judgment. I'm just saying that maybe in an environment such as this one it might be polite not to bandy the word slut around in a pejorative way. But it's not like I intend to go on a crusade about it. It was a thought I had and I expressed it.
And I did not say that opening ourselves sexually was the
primary focus of TFP. But it is obviously one of them.
Quote:
|
I'll try and find a more appropriate way to discuss the exhibition forum - I don't want to further threadjack, but that is sort of a hot topic with me.
|
I gather as much.
