Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mixedmedia
Very well then. But when I describe myself in the context of my own brief stint as a wanton young woman I prefer to use the word "worldly." 
Feel free to borrow that one if you like. |
First off, I would just like to say that as far as experiences go I can probably say that I am in the same boat with you and abaya. Only, I tend to agree with abaya's interpretation of it more than yours, and here's why. I happen to believe that the reason it is horrible to be a slut (or loose or easy or liberal or whatever you want to call it) is because that behavior comes stems from insufficient self-respect. (I don't say 'lack' here because I know that I had plenty of self-respect in other areas of my life, and it was a long hard road to finding out and admitting to myself that I still didn't have enough of the right kind of self respect.) Here is my philosophy:
When you make mistakes (as you call them) or poor decisions (as I call them) like that, it doesn't help you any to continue to be ashamed of them for the rest of your life and beat yourself up over it. I think we can probably agree on this part. But I think you are taking
not beating yourself up over it too far when you take something you're not proud of and try to spin it as something you are. I don't think I should be proud of some of the things I've done, and from what I've heard from you (and abaya, to be fair), I don't think that you should be proud of those things either. (I'll emphasize here that this is my own personal opinion, and that I am trying to discuss ideas and not engage in personal attacks.)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mixedmedia
Well, my point was not to say that women who post pictures of themselves nude or talk about their fantasies here at TFP were sluts. Not in the least. My point in bringing it up at all was to illuminate the fact that girls on the street who are dressed "in a certain way" were referred to as dressing "slutty" and as further implied, were actual sluts in their behavior, as well.
So my question is...if a girl on the street wearing certain clothing can be deemed a "slut" what does that make a woman on TFP who posts pictures of herself wearing nothing at all? I have never posted a picture of myself nude here, but I have certainly indulged in talk about fantasies and my own sexual life and it's a little discomfitting to think that some people might be judging my character because of it. That was what spurred my remarks.
|
Nobody said they were judging your character here because of your having expressed your fantasies on the TFP. I was only taking your words and putting them back to you in the the way they came off to me. From what you say now, I see that you are drawing a comparison where one ought not be drawn. The reason we can have certain judgements in the real world and not here on the TFP is because this is the internet. The real world and the internet are completely different contexts. Would you wear the same thing you wear out on a date if you were at the office? Would you wear a bathing suit to the post office? A bathing suit is appropriate at the beach, right, so why not at the post office?
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mixedmedia
I prefer not to use the word slut in a pejorative way at all. Most especially among women, and most specifically amongst ourselves here at TFP where we are encouraged to open ourselves up sexually without fear of judgement.
|
I disagree that the TFP is about opening ourselves up without fear of judgement. It is also about evolution, and I think an important qualifier to your statement is the word "undue". If we outlaw judgment, then we kill growth. Undue or unfair judgment is another story. Also, I don't think the primary focus is for opening ourselves sexually, and if it seems that way, it's probably just because most people have a lot more room for opening up in that arena than they do in others.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by mixedmedia
I'm sort of new here and your concerns about the Exhibition forum are new to me. I'd be happy to discuss it with you, though.
|
I'll try and find a more appropriate way to discuss the exhibition forum - I don't want to further threadjack, but that is sort of a hot topic with me.