frogza

2007 has just barely begun and I have regrets already.

My oldest friend (16 years since high school) called me New Years Eve and said he just wanted to talk. He's been going through a pretty rough patch, his wife left him not to long ago and he lost his job just before Christmas. Since he moved out of state we have kept in touch by phone, but lately more and more time passes between calls. I talked to him for a few minutes. My bother and his wife were over at my house and my brother was telling a great story about his work. I tried to divide my attention between my friend on the phone and my brother, my brother got a lot more attention than my friend. After a few minutes I told my friend that I'd call him back later because I had guests over, I said "Talk to you later" he simply said "Bye"

A few hours later my mother-in-law called to tell us that my wife's grandma died. Needless to say the New Years celebration that we planned kind of ended then. My brother left to celebrate with other people and left us to just spend some time together.

I got a call today from my friends ex wife, he was found dead by a neighbor this morning. He killed himself by sitting in his garage with the car running.

I know there is no way I could have known how things would play out, but I can't help but think that I let my friend down just so I could have a party that never happened. Would it have hurt me to spend some more time on the phone? Couldn't I have realized how hard the holidays must have been for him? I feel horrible.

My wife's grandma's funeral is the same day as my friends. Hers is in Utah, his is in Alaska. Since I had promised grandma that I would sing at her funeral there is no way I can attend my friends funeral.

If there is a bright siade to all this, it's that the year can only go up from here.