Sweetpea, I think it's outrageous and very rude that your sister in law would talk to you that way. That was very mean and totally uncalled for. I'm not sure if you said anything back to her or if you were just dumbstruc by the audacity of it, but I certainly would have spoken my mind.
I can't believe total strangers would speak to you that way! Who the hell do they think they are? In different kinds of situations I have been in, when a stranger talks to me out of the blue in an impolite fashion, I always ask them do they know me and when did I allow them to speak to me in that manner, and tell them they are being rude. Of course some people talk back but only because they suddenly realise how stupid they were.
Those women were clearly jealous. Be proud of your physical appearance and be yourself. Who cares what those other, rude women think. I would never talk to anyone that way. If anything, I always make a point of complimenting people for details I like in their appearance. Here in Portugal women are often extremely possessive about their men, so there always seems to be an underlying rivalry between women who only just met. I'm not like that. Recently I went out with a few friends and some girls I didn't know well and I complimented one of them on her beautiful smile (it was the truth and I kept finding myself caught in it
). She looked at me funny but then smiled and looked pleased. It's so rare for girls who are not close to be open that way here that she was surprised, clearly.
I take care pf myself and try to look good too. I also go to the gym regularly. I have never had nasty comments like that, at least not recently. When I was in high-school I'd get bitchy girls who would ask if I was anorexic in a "jealous" way(because I was mega skinny) and others who would beam when they realised in the lockers that even skinny girls can get cellulite. Or they'd say, like with Sultana "I can't believe you eat that much and never gain weight."
In relation to judging people on their appearance, I too have the double standard I guess. Everybody does it at one time or another. Why do I sometimes think some girls look "slutty"? I don't call it slutty, I call it badly dressed, badly made-up. For me it's when a woman clearly wore something specifically to let her boobs hang out too much (what is too much? - when the top is grazing the top of the nipple and it looks like they might pop out), or their skirt looks like a belt (knickers almost on show), or you can see their butt crack. This sort of thing just makes me think that they might as well walk out of the house naked because that's the sort of negative attention they will attract. Also girls who wear clothes I think look cheap and nasty (too sparkly, too loud, badly matched pieces or colours), and who wear badly applied make-up (excessive amounts, or too many colours). I don't think it's hard to dress relatively well, and with some self-respect. That's why I judge those women I guess.
I judge them, but I would never go up and be rude about it. People make their own choices, if it doesn't affect me, then it's none of my business.