I also want you think about what you have that makes you much more fortunate than alot of people. You have a scholarship to school, so many kids would want that. I applied for so many scholarships and got jack shit, sorry you're white, your mom makes too much money, Lockheeds paying your way.
You have parents that are willing to let you live at home and not pay rent. You don't have it so bad. Getting involved would do wonders. I also second Abayas suggestion on immediate counseling.
You have alot of residual stuff going on, it needs to come out and a professional can help. Someone to talk to and communicate with always helps when your stressed. Don't give up please
