abaya

Good question, and thanks for asking directly.

I suppose I draw a line between someone dressing up in a self-respecting manner (and I don't mean conservatively, necessarily) and someone dressing to the point where her underwear might be visible, she's barefoot (literally, saw this on Saturday) and staggering down the sidewalk because she's clearly drunk, and draws the looks of some types of boys on the street who see an opportunity in the making. And many of those boys do take advantage of the situation, and that's very sad. I believe that when those women wake up in the morning, the ones who do not even remember how they got into that bed, let alone into that house... they do not feel happy or elated about what has happened to them. Does that always relate to the way a woman is dressed? Certainly not. But there is some kind of correlation there that I can't help but wonder about, as I see these girls wander from frat house to frat house...

I am not talking about women who actively want to pursue this lifestyle, and who feel comfortable in their own skin, doing so... they know what they are doing, and they are really okay with it, psychologically. They have a positive self-image. I am talking about those who are not healthy, who are not taking care of themselves, and who are putting themselves in risky situations in a rather careless manner. This applies to men as well, especially in a college town, but the risks are inherently higher for women. I feel ashamed for them. Perhaps because it hits a little too close to home.

The girls I see every Friday and Saturday night do not look confident, happy, or proud of themselves (though, as you point out, how would I know? I guess I can only look at their body language, posture, faces, and guess... but it's still a guess, I admit). They look downright desperate, trying so hard to fit in, to be liked and touched by boys. And it just seems a most inefficient way to get people to like you... by the way you dress? By how much you drink? I simply don't think that kind of lifestyle and self-image is conducive to developing a healthy image of oneself. But what do I know.

I guess that if I saw, say, a girl who was dressed in an attractive, sexy way but walked confidently, with her head held high, clearly proud of herself and her body, but hardly even noticing people turning to look at her as she strolled by in her beauty... that would not bother me, I think. The dress might be the same, but the attitude is not.

Hope this was clear. I was just processing out loud as I wrote. Let me know if there are inconsistencies, and we can discuss further.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran