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Gilda · 12-20-2006, 01:45 PM

I'm skinny and have an insanely high metabolism. I'm a natural size 2, and take care to dress nicely whenever I go out. I've occasionally gotten comments regarding how lucky I am to be able to eat whatever I want and find clothes that and look good on me. I eat healthy, and it really isn't easy to find clothes at most stores that fit someone built like I am. Looking nice takes some effort on my part.

I do compare myself to other women and usually come up wanting, though it isn't for the purpose of evaluating them, but to evaluate myself to determine if I'm appropriately dressed for the situation, if I'm too formal or not formal enough. In short, I'm checking to see if I fit in (good) or stand out (not so good). I use the comparisons as a way of evaluating myself, not others, and I'd never make any negative comments on another person's appearance. I'm more the kind of person who will try to find something positive to focus on if another woman asks me how she looks before getting to any sort of criticism or suggestion for improvement.

The situations that you describe are fueled by jealousy. It's a product of evolutionary biology and cultural values. Though we've moved beyond the era when a woman's value was determined by the status of the man she's able to attract and marry, the cultural values that came from those times still exist. It's an oversimplification, and we're moving away from it, but we still live in a society in which a man's apparent value is primarily what he can do and provide, and a woman's value is based on how she looks.

It's a distillation of the culture of competition that comes from the times when men competed with each other to provide, and women competed for the best men.

This isn't going to be a conscious process. The women who make rude remarks to others about their appearance are exhibiting the ingrained culture of competition, as well as a complete lack of tact and common courtesy.

12-20-2006, 01:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I'm skinny and have an insanely high metabolism. I'm a natural size 2, and take care to dress nicely whenever I go out. I've occasionally gotten comments regarding how lucky I am to be able to eat whatever I want and find clothes that and look good on me. I eat healthy, and it really isn't easy to find clothes at most stores that fit someone built like I am. Looking nice takes some effort on my part. I do compare myself to other women and usually come up wanting, though it isn't for the purpose of evaluating them, but to evaluate myself to determine if I'm appropriately dressed for the situation, if I'm too formal or not formal enough. In short, I'm checking to see if I fit in (good) or stand out (not so good). I use the comparisons as a way of evaluating myself, not others, and I'd never make any negative comments on another person's appearance. I'm more the kind of person who will try to find something positive to focus on if another woman asks me how she looks before getting to any sort of criticism or suggestion for improvement. The situations that you describe are fueled by jealousy. It's a product of evolutionary biology and cultural values. Though we've moved beyond the era when a woman's value was determined by the status of the man she's able to attract and marry, the cultural values that came from those times still exist. It's an oversimplification, and we're moving away from it, but we still live in a society in which a man's apparent value is primarily what he can do and provide, and a woman's value is based on how she looks. It's a distillation of the culture of competition that comes from the times when men competed with each other to provide, and women competed for the best men. This isn't going to be a conscious process. The women who make rude remarks to others about their appearance are exhibiting the ingrained culture of competition, as well as a complete lack of tact and common courtesy. __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert Last edited by Gilda; 12-20-2006 at 05:55 PM..