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Jim. Honesty. Online here, with your wife, the guy friend, everyone. It's really the only way to keep things under control. Without it, everything becomes a twisted spinning mess.
Tell your wife exactly how you feel, don't skip anything or sugarcoat it. Your future with this woman will depend on DAILY honesty. As time goes by, the little things become bigger with time.
I would also be honest and ask yourself the following question:
"Why did I watch and just let it happen?"
Lastly, because you pulled this role reversal with those that took the time to think and reply, you can practice your honesty here and don't do that again. The quality of responses would have been equal, and you wouldn't have put some people off by your lack of honesty. Let the anonymous stature of the net prove to you that even here, lack of honesty is not productive. Best of luck.
Regards, T
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