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Tell the truth to your co-worker.
If oyu can get your co-worker and your wife to talk (without you there) it might get the co-w to realise that your wife is not just making a fuss.
Also - if you are fondling another woman, while your wife is there, you deserve to have your ass kicked. By your wife. And all of her family.
Sorry - but all the way through your post you keep saying that your wife is insecure, and yet your sub-conscious behaviour appears to indicate that had you been alone with the co-w and not stopped by the situation, you can't be certain that you wouldn't have gone from hand up shirt to head up skirt, or whatever.
I would be shocked that the co-w didn't tell you hands off. Even if she wants you to "reline her pipework" she ought to have had the decency to make you stop while your wife was there.
Sorry to sound harsh, but what you did is pretty much as bad a dent in marital fidelity as you can go without inserting part of you into another person.
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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