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Originally Posted by abaya
WTF?! "Leadership?" Did I accidentally switch to the James Dobson message board? Why wouldn't she be able to handle her own sexuality? I'm not saying your experience with the girl in her 20s wasn't valid, just that I could never have imagined acting in the same way in that situation. Maybe that ONE woman needed leadership, but not all of us are like that.  |
I agree with you abaya, I don't see women as needing to be led. Granted the way gender roles work these days is such that women often end up being led. Maybe there are some women who need to be led but I would say that there are men who are the same way. I'm not denying the statement but I am saying that women need to be led is a huge generalization. I personally love to lead but I will be led as well. My situation was different, my current boyfriend wasa virgin but I was not, my first time was not anything at all related to this so it's not worth mentioning. But I will say that my boyfriend and I hadn't discussed virginity at the time and I ended up initiating sex.
As to the OP, there is a balance between letting her make the decision and making a move. You need to make sure that there is not a bigger hold up than people here are saying but if it is just that she is new to sex and she is self consious then I'd say make a move and see what happens. It may just be that she is not open to discussing it because you are simply discussing it, but in the moment maybe that would change. Dropping the discussion thing is a good idea, you are pressuring her and I think that it won't help you to push the issue. Virgin sex is not a big issue, so don't make it into one.
As for her acting like oral sex is a chore, boredom can be a factor. Try spicing things up and trying new things, maybe go get a vibrator and see if she'll allow that. If so that may make the jump to sex even easier for her. Another thing is that it may be the result of tension because of the virginity issue.