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It started in the park, as I was lying down and my head hit a hard lump in the ground. I needed to lie down because the chemist had made a mistake, and I'm used to a slightly milder anti-depressant. When I dug the lump out of the ground, I saw that it was metallic, with a handle. It looked a bit like an electric drill. There was a lever for your finger to rest against. I felt I ought to know what it was. I knew I had seen lots of them in films. I thought the tobacconist might help. I pulled it out when I was buying half and ounce of Golden Virginia and some blue Rizlas, but he just flew upset and started shouting. He threw money at me, which felt wrong, and told me to leave with whatever I wanted as long as I just get out. I took one ten pound note and left him to his strange worries.
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