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Originally Posted by Moskie
But I've had a lot of difficulty getting similar responses from my girlfriends when I have an issue I feel I need to bring up. Sometimes I just need them to understand and console me, but it never ends up that way. It's always exploded into a huge argument that I never intended, or wanted, to have. This sort of argument has been the catalyst for the break-ups of my two most recent serious relationships.
Any thoughts? Am I making sense? Talking out of my ass?
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There are tons of different women out there. Some are for you and some not. It takes a few tries to find ones that will be equal to you in certain areas. Emotion is one area there needs to be balance for a relationship to last. And that seems like what you want.
Humor balance is another tricky wicket to find in a mate.
Insanity balance is the last one that is really hard to find, but when you do, then you and your mate can help each other equally with all the stupid insane things you emote about. The hardest thing is to look for non-verbal clues as to what mood your mate is in at the time. There are good times and bad times to bring up emotional things. There are times when emoting right away is ok, and other times when sucking it up for later is best.
The hardest skill for me to learn was how to stop an argument before it got large. The emotions grab me and push me to keep the argument growing, but you gotta learn how to not use key words to inflame your mate when they are flaming you.
It's so delicate sometimes. Sometimes leaving sentences unfinished can leave your mate an opening to finish them, and voila... you are on the same page. Other times, leaving unfinished sentences might get you a whack in the shoulder. Forgiveness has been key to all my relationships that last. Is someone is picking fights with me too much, then it is time to leave and never look back.
Jonathan