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Jozrael · 12-12-2006, 12:26 PM

What I think some people are missing here is the fact that she's emotionally unstable.

While it would definitely be the correct course of action here to ease off (and make this clear to your SO) now re your feelings...this has the potentiality for a lot more than a disappointed girlfriend for a little bit while she readjusts her view of the relationship. She's emotionally unstable, he's tied into the family, and this could rock a lot of people's worlds. Ideally, everyone will understand that he loves her, he just wants space and a bit of time to grow up and reinsert her as the dominant force in his life.

This gets quite a bit more complicated depending on your meaning of 'live life like I want to'. If that means live on your own, be single in terms of not married (or acting like it), even if in a relationship, etc., then the above still applies - difficult, but possible.

However, if you mean live life like I want to in the sense that you want to 'experience' a bunch of different people - then this gets a heck of a lot more complicated. As a guess, I'd imagine your gf wouldn't like that. So, if that's what you want, and you're not going to be happy without it, then this relationship really isn't right for you right now. So, you have the option of causing a lot of (temporary) pain to follow what you need (recommended) or repressing yourself into a lifetime of misery and what-if's with her. Just understand that this will cause a lot of grief with her if you just want to go out and get laid by a bunch of other people. (Even if there are other reasons as well).

One additional note with that: If, by unstable, you think there's ANY chance of suicide/severe injury to her/etc. by you mentioning either option A or B above, make sure you take the appropriate precautions that she's taken care of. Mention it to her mom first, and then her immediately after (don't want her finding out from her mom o.o) so that her mom's looking out for her in the short-term, at least.

A long-winded reply to say: this is complicated, and the bottom line is you've gotta follow what you want to do, or you're in for a lifetime of regret. Just try to minimize and plan for the repercussions. But go for it, man. If this is not right for you now, you have an ENTIRE lifetime ahead of you to find it later, with her or without her one of you decides it's not right at this time.

Follow your heart, with guidance from your mind.

12-12-2006, 12:26 PM	#15 (permalink)
Jozrael Junkie	What I think some people are missing here is the fact that she's emotionally unstable. While it would definitely be the correct course of action here to ease off (and make this clear to your SO) now re your feelings...this has the potentiality for a lot more than a disappointed girlfriend for a little bit while she readjusts her view of the relationship. She's emotionally unstable, he's tied into the family, and this could rock a lot of people's worlds. Ideally, everyone will understand that he loves her, he just wants space and a bit of time to grow up and reinsert her as the dominant force in his life. This gets quite a bit more complicated depending on your meaning of 'live life like I want to'. If that means live on your own, be single in terms of not married (or acting like it), even if in a relationship, etc., then the above still applies - difficult, but possible. However, if you mean live life like I want to in the sense that you want to 'experience' a bunch of different people - then this gets a heck of a lot more complicated. As a guess, I'd imagine your gf wouldn't like that. So, if that's what you want, and you're not going to be happy without it, then this relationship really isn't right for you right now. So, you have the option of causing a lot of (temporary) pain to follow what you need (recommended) or repressing yourself into a lifetime of misery and what-if's with her. Just understand that this will cause a lot of grief with her if you just want to go out and get laid by a bunch of other people. (Even if there are other reasons as well). One additional note with that: If, by unstable, you think there's ANY chance of suicide/severe injury to her/etc. by you mentioning either option A or B above, make sure you take the appropriate precautions that she's taken care of. Mention it to her mom first, and then her immediately after (don't want her finding out from her mom o.o) so that her mom's looking out for her in the short-term, at least. A long-winded reply to say: this is complicated, and the bottom line is you've gotta follow what you want to do, or you're in for a lifetime of regret. Just try to minimize and plan for the repercussions. But go for it, man. If this is not right for you now, you have an ENTIRE lifetime ahead of you to find it later, with her or without her one of you decides it's not right at this time. Follow your heart, with guidance from your mind.