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Originally Posted by willravel
If you equate something, then you say you aren't equating them, you're sending a very mixed message.
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I never equated the two. I am asking you to be intellectually honest here. I said that they were both part of the status quo, not that they were equal. It is like I said jaywalking and murder are both illegal and you took it to mean that I was equating the two. Balderdash!
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Originally Posted by willravel
And suggesting that a child be sent to be before dinner once may not be child abuse, but if that parental behavior is in any way consistant, e.i. maybe missing 4-5 dinners a month, then it is very unhealthy for the child and the parents are being not only neglectful, but are bad parents. Starvation is abuse, and not eating between 12 noon and maybe 7-8 am the next morning can cause moderate to severe pain and effect digestion and energy for days. Am I trying to be rude? No, I'm trying to prevent child abuse.
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I will concede this point if you can cite one example of someone starving from going 20 hours without eating. But since you can't, who said that they couldn't eat before 7 or 8 am? It is my experience that the child will get hungry and be willing to talk about what happened way before they fall asleep. Once you can talk to the child and get them to understand what they did wrong and they communicate that they understand, you can give them something to eat.
Okay, you say that you aren't being rude so I will belive you. Are you being hysterical? Obtuse? I never mentioned starvation, you did. That is a great leap you made. It was intellectually dishonest.
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Originally Posted by willravel
Shouldn't you get good grades anyway? Not necessarily. My grades in my photogtaphy class wouldn't have meant a thing on my transcripts, or to me personally since I don't care for photography. I got the grades in order to teach myself dicipline and to get my dad's beater. My dad gave me the car as a reward for good grades; as an example of how good behavior proven to an authority figure can be rewarding. The same rules apply now when I do well at work and get a bonus. The car reward was, of course, one time. If I had recieved a car every time I had good grades, I'd probably have a very different opinion about cars now as an adult, right? That's the point.
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Actually you should get good grades so "would you like fries with that?" isn't a common phrase in your life. Your GPA can earn you scholarships and acceptance to good schools. Your photography grades count on your GPA. BTW, taking an elective course you have no interest in also says something about you. You were only worried about dad's beater.
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Originally Posted by willravel
It's not a red herring, it's an attempt to lighten the mood. Aparently, it'll take more than picking on an untalented, teenage(?) pop star to fix this mess.
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Okay, it's a strawman.
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Originally Posted by willravel
Well now that's a very perception based semantics argument waiting to kill the thread. A reward is something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc. Would studying and taking a test fit under hardship, service, merrit, etc.? Probably. Therefore, it is a reward.
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That's a loose definition of reward. And you want to accuse me of semantics?
I am going to guess that welfare/charity is a reward in your book. Some(not all, don't twist my words again) people are being rewarded for being lazy or irresponsible in your book.
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Originally Posted by willravel
What do you mean "a parent can pull a license"? Are you talking about a parent taking the drivers license of their teenage child? If so, no, they cannot 'pull a license' any more than I can 'pull a car stereo from a car I'm breaking into'. Theft is theft. A drivers license belongs to it's driver, whether that driver is 17 or 42. That would be like my boss punishing me by taking my car. He doesn't have that authority.
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The threads before this debunked your license theft issue. Your boss is a red herring. You don't live under his roof and he isn't your legal guardian, I assume. You can ground your kid, in effect, pulling his license(he can't drive if he isn't in a car.) If he leaves anyway, either you can call the cops on him or you can kick them out if they think that they are that grown up. It's the kid's actions and the consequences.
Hitting kids should be a last resort and never out of anger( that is a tough thing to do). It teaches the child that violence is a way to solve conflicts. It is way overused and then it becomes uneffective. Some kids will push it to the point that you have to smack them to let them know that their actions are totally unacceptable and you will not tolerate it.
I have spent a majority of my 6 year old neice's life helping to raise her. I have never had to hit her or even threaten it. Taking away priveledges and talking to her have worked so far. I have never had to send her to bed without dinner either. But I reserve the right to if she ever wanted to be so unruly that I had no other choice.