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If you can help it, even if it means living worse off, then don't do it. It seems clear to me that the fact you have posted this here is because you have serious qualms about doing it. It's a very big step, and one that will probably mark you for life, in a negative way, since you haven't even done anything yet and you seem to feel bad already.
Separately, in your question about having secrets with your SO, then I would say that if it's something big, they should probably know, but if it's something small, it's up to you. For me, telling all hasn't always been the right choice. No-one ever really knows you completely, not even yourself. Also if you have nothing left to tell, life will become pretty boring fast.
If the secret was "I used to have sex with nasty men for money", then I think probably he should know. It's the sort of thing that could compromise his health, and also it's too big a secret to not come out on its own over time. Better to tell him before someone else does.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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