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Originally Posted by hagatha
I hate seeing generalizations like "WOMEN ARE SELFISH" because how dare you label me when you don't know me. And if this is supposed to be a forum for critical thinking sweeping generalizations come across as really trite.
I think it would be wiser if people in relationships would just say when their feelings are hurt rather than pouting or getting all passive aggressive (and I've seen that behaviour on both sides, thank you very much).
And if a guy took the time to express how he was feeling I would totally listen. But I'm not a mind reader so it has to be said before I can respond. And that applies to any relationship....friend, lover, etc.
I actually find it refreshing to see men who are in touch with how they feel and aren't afraid to say it.
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While I agree that generalizations and stereotypes sometimes fall far from the mark, everyone uses them so that they can effectively make sense of their world. Assumptions and catagories people create are designed in order to make quick decisions about a situation and the appropriate response.
I would like to say "most women are nuturing to their partners" but in my experience it is just not true. Nearly every single relationship i've had involves expectations on my behavior to not just listen to the woman's problems but actively work to help her with them, and "fix" things when she feels hurt that is not reciprocated when the script is flipped and I have an issue. This will even extend into lovemaking, as while she will certainly enjoy the pleasures I give her, it is an effort to get her to return the favor. Women take a lot in relationships, and i've found to get any balance in terms of support or reciprocation, I needed to set firm expectations of her behavior from the start, and from that point reward her for good behavior, which sucks because it doesn't feel like a relationship when I have to manipulate her just to get some measure of balance.