Seaver, I agree with the spirit of your statement... BUT... masturbating does not equal having sex.
I wasn't man enough to buy lube when I discovered the wonderful art of masturbation. But yeah, go buy some KY or Astroglide from your local Wal-Mart... use the auto teller if you have to, but honestly the tellers really don't give a rip. =) They are too busy watching the clock to care what the hell you're buying!