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So I've been doing some thinking and condensed what I don't understand into a single question. Drumroll please.
I was reading some tips for women to spot guys that are bad news and it really left me scratching my head. It was a 10-point checklist of things to look out for, like talking on the phone while on a date, ignoring the woman, etc. These all ended in a sentence that pretty much said
"... if he's doing these things, he will not be 100% devoted to you."
or
"you won't be his center of attention."
It just pretty much hinted the guy had to be obsessed, to the point of ignoring his friends and duties, or else he was a loser.
EXCEPT for the last point that warned women of guys that 1) call too much 2) show up in unexpected places and so on. Basically, to watch out for stalkers who, coincidentally, ARE 100% devoted and make the woman the center of attention. Go figure.
My question:
Where is the balancing point here? Where is the sweet spot between an apathetic player and a stalker? How do you go about asking a girl out without her thinking "uh oh, he likes me too much, danger danger..."?
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