Plumcake

I think crying, particularly in front of others, is a nature-nurture thing. Some people have not been encouraged to cry; in fact, likely most men are taught as boys that it's a sign of weakness. They're supposed to suck it up. Our culture still treats it as an aberration in men. Maybe a leftover Victorian effect? When my mother was dying, my father said he didn't want to see any tears. At the time, it seemed very cold of him to say that, but he's not a cold man, just not demonstrative. I had to tell him there were going to be tears among his children, and he accepted that. In fact, he brought out a photo of my mother when she was young, began to tell me a story about them in their youth, and tears came to his eyes. He was heartbreakingly confused by tears in his own eyes, this strong man who can take anything and keep going. It helped me understand that how others react to hurt and pain is theirs -- it belongs to them, not me -- and my opinions about whether someone should cry or not are immaterial.

I don't think you need an excuse for not crying.