Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Guys expressing emotion: always ends badly?

Moskie · 11-14-2006, 01:27 PM

I don't read this forum much, but I'm starting to read some of it now mainly because I'm going through a painful breakup... much worse (for me at least) than any previous breakup I've dealt with. I definitely care about this girl much, much more than anyone else I've been with in the past, so there's some uncharted territory for me here.

Anyway, after reading some posts here and comparing them with my experience (both with this latest girl and girlfriends in the past), I see something that might be a recurring theme. It's that once a guy expresses some emotional distress, the relationship reaches a point of no return. Maybe this is something that's cliche and has been discussed to death, but I kinda need to write it out myself anyway.

Now, with my relationships, if my girlfriend was having an issue with our relationship on an emotional level, we'd discuss it, maybe have an argument about it. I might disagree with what they were saying, but it would end with me consoling them, coming to agreement, doing something nice or romantic to show I care, then do my best to prevent the problem from being a problem in the future. I don't mean to say I placated them, but we'd just work it out.

But I've had a lot of difficulty getting similar responses from my girlfriends when I have an issue I feel I need to bring up. Sometimes I just need them to understand and console me, but it never ends up that way. It's always exploded into a huge argument that I never intended, or wanted, to have. This sort of argument has been the catalyst for the break-ups of my two most recent serious relationships.

I feel like I've seen similar things in other posts here... that once a guy expresses some sort of emotional distress, the girl backs away. It seems like in these situations the guy is just looking for a hug and a reassurance that the girl doesn't mean to cause any pain. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, but it can often be an impossible thing to get.

*edit* - took some stuff out that i don't think is necessary...

Any thoughts? Am I making sense? Talking out of my ass?

11-14-2006, 01:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Moskie Pure Chewing Satisfaction Location: can i use bbcode [i]here[/i]?	Guys expressing emotion: always ends badly? I don't read this forum much, but I'm starting to read some of it now mainly because I'm going through a painful breakup... much worse (for me at least) than any previous breakup I've dealt with. I definitely care about this girl much, much more than anyone else I've been with in the past, so there's some uncharted territory for me here. Anyway, after reading some posts here and comparing them with my experience (both with this latest girl and girlfriends in the past), I see something that might be a recurring theme. It's that once a guy expresses some emotional distress, the relationship reaches a point of no return. Maybe this is something that's cliche and has been discussed to death, but I kinda need to write it out myself anyway. Now, with my relationships, if my girlfriend was having an issue with our relationship on an emotional level, we'd discuss it, maybe have an argument about it. I might disagree with what they were saying, but it would end with me consoling them, coming to agreement, doing something nice or romantic to show I care, then do my best to prevent the problem from being a problem in the future. I don't mean to say I placated them, but we'd just work it out. But I've had a lot of difficulty getting similar responses from my girlfriends when I have an issue I feel I need to bring up. Sometimes I just need them to understand and console me, but it never ends up that way. It's always exploded into a huge argument that I never intended, or wanted, to have. This sort of argument has been the catalyst for the break-ups of my two most recent serious relationships. I feel like I've seen similar things in other posts here... that once a guy expresses some sort of emotional distress, the girl backs away. It seems like in these situations the guy is just looking for a hug and a reassurance that the girl doesn't mean to cause any pain. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, but it can often be an impossible thing to get. edit - took some stuff out that i don't think is necessary... Any thoughts? Am I making sense? Talking out of my ass? __________________ Greetings and salutations. Last edited by Moskie; 11-14-2006 at 05:12 PM..