Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How To Die a Morose Hermit: My Guide to Dating

scottstall · 11-11-2006, 05:33 PM

Things that don't look androgynous, from the male side.
Jawlines (theres alot of ways to work on what your jawline looks like, even though its rather genetic). Short hair. Pants that aren't too tight, from everyones opinion. A torso that's a different color than your pants (tight black shirt and blue jeans is great, you can almost get away with anything in that, though you'll look rather plain). Non-delicate cheek bones. Adam's apples (hehe, that's how I spot transgender, but it's not exactly something you can work on. Oh, and its not guaranteed).

Now... Androgynous is also an attitude, which may be a problem as well.
Take for example, your example, that I don't think you meant to be used this way.

"I try my best to tease girls, and they often respond with this shocked look on their face, hit me on the arm and then laugh (for example)."

Don't tease. Your not teasing, teasing when your talking about flirting means leading people to think something thats not going to happen is going to happen. Thats what a "tease" is. Your flirting, and you have a goal in mind, and you probably want exactly what it is your flirting about to happen. They have a shocked look on their face, then they're probably surprised your actually interested in sleeping with them. This is not exactly bad, and you don't want to forget how to do this. Knowing how to make a friendship with a girl seeming like your always wanting to just be friends can be good. Learn to play your cards right and you'll get to know a girl who is extremely cautious about guys that want to sleep with her as a friend and then when you pop up as wanting to sleep with her, you already know her, she likes you, and she hopefully knows you well enough to believe it won't fuck up the friendship.

When they hit your arm... Thats your chance. Standing up for yourself is a very good thing to do to attract people from a guys side. And if a girl wants to attract the right kind of guy in my opinion, she'll stand up for herself too. What you exactly say depends on your relationship with them. Girls that hit you on the arm because you flirted with them tend to view you as a friend, so your probably not a casual acquaintance. They probably also think even if they say no, your gonna be around. Theres a couple of ways to turn the relationship sexual at that point, the most likely to work (and only the teensiest bit manipulative) is to shatter that expectation that your gonna be around, period. "Don't hit me, if I'm gonna get hit, even on the arm, I expect to deserve it. (you can stop here if you like, and all you've accomplished is asserting yourself). And what, you think I don't have hormones all of a sudden? (you can also stop here, and you suddenly reminded them that you are a guy, and like most guys, you occasionally want to sleep with a girl). Right now, friends are great, I love them, but I've got a good number of really good ones. I don't need another good one, or another friend at all really. I need to deal with these hormones, or rather, enjoy them.(and now, you probably just manipulated them)"

Theres an underlying message there once you get to the manipulated part... I have other good friends that I'll be spending time with if they sleep with me. Time with them means less time with you, and if the relationship with that "good friend" blossoms, I don't exactly need any good friends at all that are female. Most women believe, and are probably right, that guys best friends tend to be guys, until they get a wife. Even then, they maintain a best friend thats a guy, they're just also (hopefully) able to tell everything to the wife as well.

I don't like being manipulative, and I don't like telling other people good methods of doing such, but thats actually probably the truth in your case. A lot of your "good friends" that are female, you want to sleep with, and probably wouldn't be friends with if they flat out told you "I'm not sleeping with you, period, and ever, but we can be great friends." I'm assuming your not like me though, I thrive in estrogen. What I actually recommend doing, is going to whatever club/scene a girl would go to to hookup with someone, the kind of girl you want to be with. Be assertive, and conscious of your tone, and go up to a complete stranger and say "Hi, before I begin, is there absolutely any way whatsoever that if I say the right things, without lying about them, your going to sleep with me tonight."

I'd stop right there, because I usually like the girl to figure out on her own that sleep with me tonight doesn't mean I'm not gonna be there in the morning. You probably want to add

"Not that I'm not gonna be friends with you or anything, or maybe even turn into a relationship. Right now, I'm just some guy, and I need a girl to do what I want to do with. She'll get what she wants too."

Try not to put them on the spot in a crowd, she'll feel like she'll get labeled a whore if she says yes then. Oh. And don't lie about that she gets what she wants too thing. If you want a blowjob, and she wants head too, you better be ready for it. Being more open sexually up to a point will almost always make you a better prospect. Being more open sexually tends to indicate you aren't afraid of sex.

If you can say that with confidence, and you look attractive, someone will say yes. I did this at a few highschool parties where the good majority of girls don't want a random hookup, because visible random hookups in highschool are BAD for the girl. It worked twice, out of three times, with people that didn't know me directly. Then again, it could be the crowd of people the parties I went to catered to. You'd get booed if you tried to get people not to drink, but you'd also be called an ass and escorted away if you tried to get someone to beyond just offering them a drink. I wasn't horridly attractive, either. I showed a friend of mine my license at 16 and she said "damn you were a skinny fucker." At that time, people would say that too, until they saw my legs, which were very thick and muscular. I kept them hidden from view in baggy pants, unless for some odd reason I felt like showing off which usually backfired, as showing off tends to.

11-11-2006, 05:33 PM	#30 (permalink)
scottstall Upright	Things that don't look androgynous, from the male side. Jawlines (theres alot of ways to work on what your jawline looks like, even though its rather genetic). Short hair. Pants that aren't too tight, from everyones opinion. A torso that's a different color than your pants (tight black shirt and blue jeans is great, you can almost get away with anything in that, though you'll look rather plain). Non-delicate cheek bones. Adam's apples (hehe, that's how I spot transgender, but it's not exactly something you can work on. Oh, and its not guaranteed). Now... Androgynous is also an attitude, which may be a problem as well. Take for example, your example, that I don't think you meant to be used this way. "I try my best to tease girls, and they often respond with this shocked look on their face, hit me on the arm and then laugh (for example)." Don't tease. Your not teasing, teasing when your talking about flirting means leading people to think something thats not going to happen is going to happen. Thats what a "tease" is. Your flirting, and you have a goal in mind, and you probably want exactly what it is your flirting about to happen. They have a shocked look on their face, then they're probably surprised your actually interested in sleeping with them. This is not exactly bad, and you don't want to forget how to do this. Knowing how to make a friendship with a girl seeming like your always wanting to just be friends can be good. Learn to play your cards right and you'll get to know a girl who is extremely cautious about guys that want to sleep with her as a friend and then when you pop up as wanting to sleep with her, you already know her, she likes you, and she hopefully knows you well enough to believe it won't fuck up the friendship. When they hit your arm... Thats your chance. Standing up for yourself is a very good thing to do to attract people from a guys side. And if a girl wants to attract the right kind of guy in my opinion, she'll stand up for herself too. What you exactly say depends on your relationship with them. Girls that hit you on the arm because you flirted with them tend to view you as a friend, so your probably not a casual acquaintance. They probably also think even if they say no, your gonna be around. Theres a couple of ways to turn the relationship sexual at that point, the most likely to work (and only the teensiest bit manipulative) is to shatter that expectation that your gonna be around, period. "Don't hit me, if I'm gonna get hit, even on the arm, I expect to deserve it. (you can stop here if you like, and all you've accomplished is asserting yourself). And what, you think I don't have hormones all of a sudden? (you can also stop here, and you suddenly reminded them that you are a guy, and like most guys, you occasionally want to sleep with a girl). Right now, friends are great, I love them, but I've got a good number of really good ones. I don't need another good one, or another friend at all really. I need to deal with these hormones, or rather, enjoy them.(and now, you probably just manipulated them)" Theres an underlying message there once you get to the manipulated part... I have other good friends that I'll be spending time with if they sleep with me. Time with them means less time with you, and if the relationship with that "good friend" blossoms, I don't exactly need any good friends at all that are female. Most women believe, and are probably right, that guys best friends tend to be guys, until they get a wife. Even then, they maintain a best friend thats a guy, they're just also (hopefully) able to tell everything to the wife as well. I don't like being manipulative, and I don't like telling other people good methods of doing such, but thats actually probably the truth in your case. A lot of your "good friends" that are female, you want to sleep with, and probably wouldn't be friends with if they flat out told you "I'm not sleeping with you, period, and ever, but we can be great friends." I'm assuming your not like me though, I thrive in estrogen. What I actually recommend doing, is going to whatever club/scene a girl would go to to hookup with someone, the kind of girl you want to be with. Be assertive, and conscious of your tone, and go up to a complete stranger and say "Hi, before I begin, is there absolutely any way whatsoever that if I say the right things, without lying about them, your going to sleep with me tonight." I'd stop right there, because I usually like the girl to figure out on her own that sleep with me tonight doesn't mean I'm not gonna be there in the morning. You probably want to add "Not that I'm not gonna be friends with you or anything, or maybe even turn into a relationship. Right now, I'm just some guy, and I need a girl to do what I want to do with. She'll get what she wants too." Try not to put them on the spot in a crowd, she'll feel like she'll get labeled a whore if she says yes then. Oh. And don't lie about that she gets what she wants too thing. If you want a blowjob, and she wants head too, you better be ready for it. Being more open sexually up to a point will almost always make you a better prospect. Being more open sexually tends to indicate you aren't afraid of sex. If you can say that with confidence, and you look attractive, someone will say yes. I did this at a few highschool parties where the good majority of girls don't want a random hookup, because visible random hookups in highschool are BAD for the girl. It worked twice, out of three times, with people that didn't know me directly. Then again, it could be the crowd of people the parties I went to catered to. You'd get booed if you tried to get people not to drink, but you'd also be called an ass and escorted away if you tried to get someone to beyond just offering them a drink. I wasn't horridly attractive, either. I showed a friend of mine my license at 16 and she said "damn you were a skinny fucker." At that time, people would say that too, until they saw my legs, which were very thick and muscular. I kept them hidden from view in baggy pants, unless for some odd reason I felt like showing off which usually backfired, as showing off tends to.