I live for my kids. they need a mom. I live for my husband, he needs me. I live for all the fun things that I want to do with them all. I live for me. I want to see my children grow and fall in love and get their hearts broken and then fall in love again and not get their hearts broken, I want to see my grandchildren that are NOT going to be around for at least another 15 years, hopefully
.
I live because even when it is really really bad, even when I was sitting there watching my mother die, even when the absolute worst things that have ever happened to me were happening, it stopped at some point. It got better, eventually, sometmes a very long eventually. I have had wonderful moments, and I have had horrible moments. The good moments were worth the cost of the bad.
It is normal to get that autopilot feeling, like theres not much going on in the emotion area. It is normal to sometimes feel like even getting angry is too much work. It is not normal to feel like there is no reason to live, that might be more serious than a bunch of strangers can deal with. You might consider some professional help
if thats where you're at.