Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My biological clock... or is it a time bomb?

NovaDawn · 10-25-2006, 11:57 PM

As a childless nanny, doula and massage therapist who specializes in prenatal care, I can certainly empathize with many of the sentiments posted here. Especially as of late!

Just yesterday I attended the birth of my friend's second child and I'm finding my desire to experience pregnancy, birth and motherhood to be exponentially heightened. I've taken care of a lot of kids and have witnessed first hand the pains of parenting. Any delusions I may have had about parenting have disappeared long ago through dealing with the unpleasantries of unconsolablly crying babies, exploding diapers, sugar-high children who bite, and other generally challenging behaviors. The joys, in my experience, far outwiegh the horrors. Perhaps this is because I can leave the kids with their parents at the end of the day, go home, cuddle with my cat and have a good nights sleep. Still, I can't seem to let go of this biological/emotional urge. Though I'm only 27, it seems time unforgivably passes all too quickly yet painfully slow.

Presently, I'm in a relationship which is continually and organically growing into something quite unexpected and beautiful, but unfortunately, it has limitations. Basicly, my partner doesn't want kids. I love my partner deeply and respect his wishes, but I keep finding myself wishing he'd change his mind on the issue. I have no desire to find a different partner AND I want a kid... it's a paradox that seems unresolvable accept through painful compromise (on my part)! Despite all this, I recognize on a practical/rational level that I'm not in a position to have kids right now anyway. However, knowing it's a possibility or better, a probablity, would make it so much easier.

Then I wonder, how can I transform my desire for mamahood into creative expression? After all, I need some way to quench my unfulfilled cravings for creating a baby. Perhaps the realization of a creative vision can be enough for now...

10-25-2006, 11:57 PM	#25 (permalink)
NovaDawn Upright Location: Portland, Oregon USA	Creativity as a means to quench the maternal urge? As a childless nanny, doula and massage therapist who specializes in prenatal care, I can certainly empathize with many of the sentiments posted here. Especially as of late! Just yesterday I attended the birth of my friend's second child and I'm finding my desire to experience pregnancy, birth and motherhood to be exponentially heightened. I've taken care of a lot of kids and have witnessed first hand the pains of parenting. Any delusions I may have had about parenting have disappeared long ago through dealing with the unpleasantries of unconsolablly crying babies, exploding diapers, sugar-high children who bite, and other generally challenging behaviors. The joys, in my experience, far outwiegh the horrors. Perhaps this is because I can leave the kids with their parents at the end of the day, go home, cuddle with my cat and have a good nights sleep. Still, I can't seem to let go of this biological/emotional urge. Though I'm only 27, it seems time unforgivably passes all too quickly yet painfully slow. Presently, I'm in a relationship which is continually and organically growing into something quite unexpected and beautiful, but unfortunately, it has limitations. Basicly, my partner doesn't want kids. I love my partner deeply and respect his wishes, but I keep finding myself wishing he'd change his mind on the issue. I have no desire to find a different partner AND I want a kid... it's a paradox that seems unresolvable accept through painful compromise (on my part)! Despite all this, I recognize on a practical/rational level that I'm not in a position to have kids right now anyway. However, knowing it's a possibility or better, a probablity, would make it so much easier. Then I wonder, how can I transform my desire for mamahood into creative expression? After all, I need some way to quench my unfulfilled cravings for creating a baby. Perhaps the realization of a creative vision can be enough for now... __________________ Arrrrrgh!