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Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct
I suppose the whole basis of my cognitive dissonance is my knowledge that in the past I was devoutly religious and fully believed in the tenets of my religion, yet at this point in time I cannot associate myself with that mindset, even to the point that I can understand why I believed what I believed. The closest I can get is teh realization that the inability to prove the existance of God and the tendency to disbelieve based on lack of evidence is as intuitive to me now as the indusputable fact that God existed and that I was carrying out his will and divine commands.
I really don't know what to think about this.
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I don't know what to think either, but my thinking is parallel to yours. I, too, was a meaningfully evangelical Christian, and thought I would go to the grave believing what I did. And yet... how Life changes us, if we allow it to do so. I still believe in that kind of Grace, if that makes any sense. Transformation, evolution.
Not much to add, just a little commiseration...