Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Gilda
The guy paying for the meal is a custom that is now more commonly a formal courtesy based on sex that should likely be abandoned, but it originated in an era when men worked and women generally didn't, and the women who did work made significantly less money than men. Men paying grew out of a difference in ability to pay that was sex linked--it was a product of a circumstance that was linked strognly to sex and thus became associated with sex, even when the circumstances changed.
This doesn't mean men should be expected to pay--that is a custom that should be abandoned in favor of something more equitable, or to truly reflect the origins of the practice, if one person, regardless of sex, is significantly more able to pay than the other, she should be the one to do so. I'm really fine with either arrangement.
|
Just had to respond because Spec and I had coffee today and we were talking about the man paying. He bought me coffee and I called him a chivalrous fellow.
I know he didn't pay to have sex or because he was the man. But the thing is that he knows that I'm out of work and even though I brought money to pay, he was helping out. It was courteous and something that a friend does. Also, there have been times when we've bought him dinner or drinks so it's a trade off.
As I mentioned before, I think we all agree that courtesy is important. Being considerate to all people has nothing to do with women's lib or chivalry. It has to do with being human and a friend.