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Old 10-22-2006, 05:01 PM   #54 (permalink)
Gilda
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Location: Out on a wire.
There's a problem here with denotative and conotative meanings with the word "expect" in relationship to behavior.

Denotatively, it generally means "predicted outcome/behavior". Conotatively, it can be value neutral, meaning simply "predicted behavior," it can carry the additional qualitative meaning "desired outcome/behavior," or even the stronger "requiered behavior."

When I'm approaching the building where my office or classes are held, if there is a young man arriving shortly before me I expect him to hold the door for me. If I'm carrying several large or heavy things, I expect an offer to carry one or more of them for me, which I am happy to accept.

Now, is this an expectation based on sex? In part yes, but it's an expectation based not on what I think a young man should be required to do, but on experience. I expect it for the same reason I expect it to rain when it's cloudy and misty, because experience tells me that's what often happens. I'm not going to be upset with him if he doesn't help me with the door or my books and things, but I am going to be pleased if he does, not because it's something I think he should do based on his and my relative sexes, but because it's something that is going to make an inconvenient task easier.

I specify the guys because women are less likely to hold the door or to offer to carry my things for me, and that's ok. I'm still pleased when they do, but not upset when they don't.

On the other hand, I expect my students to come to class and to be on time. These are expectations based on what I desire and think students should do, not so much what I think they will do.

I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging the general differences between men and women. Asking my brother to open a jar for me rather than my sister isn't sexist any more than it is when I ask Grace, it's acknowledging that he's stronger than she is.

I expect my students to come to class and be there on time. In this context, I mean that as in it's a behavior that is required based on status and based on which I evaluate them. My expectations in this area are sex neutral, as nearly all such expectations should be.

I do expect people to treat me with courtesy and respect, but this is because I expect everyone to do so. Likewise, I treat everyone with courtesy as a means of showing my respect for them as people, regardless of sex.

Gilda
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Last edited by Gilda; 10-22-2006 at 07:40 PM..
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