Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Am I in an open marriage? Is it polyamory? Polyfidelity? Definitions please.

Cavalryman · 10-18-2006, 07:06 AM

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted last, and I thought I'd share an interesting realization for me. My wife did finally have a night with her friend, and afterward, we went through some strain. The communication which is key to making something like this work, fell off sharply. Normally we would have been able to "touch base" as ratbastid so well articulated, but of course being 7,000 miles away makes that impossible. After several emails and some long IMs back and forth, she shared with me that she is not able to do this right now. Not being able to connect with me physically, like we've done in the past, caused too much confusion. She began to see me negatively again and felt too out of sorts to do any more with her friend. This may seem like nothing new to some out there, but I was surprised. This is a fascinating journey to be on, and when I finally get to take some R&R leave early next year (we're meeting in Europe), I think our reconnection time will be even more significant.

So for now, we have agreed to keep things simple and not create a foundation for trouble. Sharing it seems comes with limitations for some of us, and I will also admit that our putting this on hold for now makes my days easier to get through. I am counting the days till I can meet her in southern Germany.

10-18-2006, 07:06 AM	#58 (permalink)
Cavalryman Upright Location: Afghanistan	Touching Base It has been a couple of weeks since I posted last, and I thought I'd share an interesting realization for me. My wife did finally have a night with her friend, and afterward, we went through some strain. The communication which is key to making something like this work, fell off sharply. Normally we would have been able to "touch base" as ratbastid so well articulated, but of course being 7,000 miles away makes that impossible. After several emails and some long IMs back and forth, she shared with me that she is not able to do this right now. Not being able to connect with me physically, like we've done in the past, caused too much confusion. She began to see me negatively again and felt too out of sorts to do any more with her friend. This may seem like nothing new to some out there, but I was surprised. This is a fascinating journey to be on, and when I finally get to take some R&R leave early next year (we're meeting in Europe), I think our reconnection time will be even more significant. So for now, we have agreed to keep things simple and not create a foundation for trouble. Sharing it seems comes with limitations for some of us, and I will also admit that our putting this on hold for now makes my days easier to get through. I am counting the days till I can meet her in southern Germany.