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Originally Posted by highthief
I think this is too much of a blanket statement. Yes, for some people their sexual orientation is very much a part of their identity, for others, especially bisexuals, who they sleep with is a purely recreational (and private) issue, and not something that needs advertising unless they desire it.
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I did not equate being out with advertising one's status or who one sleeps with. The point of my post was the relative status of homosexual and heterosexual identity. I was very clear about equating it with being out with one's heterosexuality under the same circumstances and how the same behaviors that go unnoticed for heterosexuals can be interpreted as advertising one's sexuality when engaged in by homosexuals.
In other words, a same sex couple walking down a city street holding hands can be described as advertising their status or putting bedroom issues in public, when the same is not said of heterosexuals. It isn't said of heteros because it isn't true.
Being openly gay is not about who you're sleeping with; that can and often still is a private matter. This does, however, point out another double standard: Heterosexuals who are open about loving their partners aren't described as advertising who they're sleeping with--it's usually just called being in love, with no up front implication that the relationship is primarily about sex. Homosexuals who are open about their status are "advertising it" and who are open about their loving relationships are more likely to have those relationships described in terms of sexuality. It's part of the subtle distinction constantly made and reinforced again and again--heterosexuality is about love, homosexuality is about sex.
I didn't address bisexuals at all or adveritsing who you're sleeping with at all, just the language used to describe the same behavior when engaged in by heterosexuals and by homosexuals.
You can be openly gay without ever getting into bedroom issues or who you're sleeping with, just as it's possible to openly straight and keep your sex life private, but the former is usually described in terms that make it seem fundamentally different than the latter, when it isn't.
Gilda