Gilda

Yes, of course. I'd suspect everyone has. Reading for example.

Sure. I'm surrounded with people for whom reading comes easily, both at home and at work.

Let's continue with reading as an example. I learned relatively early, by about the age of six, to read fluently. My sister could do the same at the age of three. The average person in the US can do this by roughly the age on eight to nine years old, or about the time they start third grade.

Some, like my sister can learn with seemingly no outside intervention whatsoever. Some, like me, learn experientially through being read to by an older person, in my case my mom and various aunts and uncles. Most need some degree of formal instruction, and learn through one of three basic methods, sight word memorization, phonics, and experiential learning. Each of these by itself is adequate for some people, which is to say some will thrive on phonics alone, others on sight words, others on experiential. Most benefit most from an approach that combines the three.

Some have learning disabilities that render standard instruction techniques ineffective and inefficient, and require specific intervention tailored to the person's individual needs by a trained specialist. Many children who grow into illiterate adults do so because they had an undiagnosed learning disorder that prevented them from learning the necessary skills through conventional methods. Some have a physical processing deficit in the brain that needs to be overcome through a specifically tailored intervention program.

It's easy and natural for me and every person in my family and all of my professional colleages, or so far as I know. This does not mean that I'm going to assume that it's easy for everyone, that one approach is best for everyone, or that there aren't a good number of people for whom it is a long, difficult, recursive process.

I'm not saying that this approach has not worked for you. The pep talk, motivational speaker, life coach, self-help approach does work for some, and I say good for them. I'm glad they found an approach that works. I have no doubt that many people have problems that are not as large as they seemed before they began to actively deal with them.

Good for you.

I'm happy that you've found a way to deal with your problems.

I have no doubt that that can be the source of some inertia. It's one of the aspects of depression, the irrational belief that ones situation cannot be improved. That a problem seems insurmountable may serve as a disincentive to deal with it.

However, often the task seems difficult and complex because it *is* difficult and complex and requires a lot of hard work. For some people with more severe problems, having someone to help guide them through the process of identifying exactly what the problem is, breaking the big problem down into smaller steps that are easier to get through, and developing a systematic approach to reaching the goals is what's needed.

Or C: The task at hand, though easy for some, is not easy for all. If you are not good at a task, that task is not easy for you. "Easy" is relative to a person's skills and abilities, not an absolute measurement. Calculus is easy for my sister. It is complex, difficult to learn, and requires a lot of hard work for most people.

Believing that a difficult task is easier than it should be is also counterproductive because it can result in people giving up when they discover it isn't going to be the quick, easy solution they were promised.

That seems to be a contradiction in your last step. This may work for some. When you say it worked for you, I have no problem believing that. Our point of disagreement is in your apparent belief that this method is universally applicable.

Therapy isn't always a long, complex process. Sometimes it's as simple as having someone friendly to talk to a couple of times a month. Sometimes it's six to eight sessions of desensitization and cognitive training to rid someone of a less severe problem. Sometimes it's one session and the client discovers she has the same fears and insecurities as everyone. But some people do have severe problems that require, or at least benefit greatly from, the guidance of a skilled counselor. Therapists have training and education for dealing with specific problems in an effective manner. Even when it may not be necessary, it can still be very helpful.

Medication treats a specific physical cause of the psychological problem. It's not a panacea, but it can make treatment of the psychological problem easier and more effective.

Making a plan is nearly always a good idea. You're even offering a plan, whether it's the first step in a longer plan or a one step plan, it's still a plan.

I have no doubt that this is an obstacle.

I do think you are over simplifying things by proposing one simple solution for everyone for what can be a complex psychological problem, often with an underlying physical cause.

Not for everyone.

Gilda

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Certain social situations are quite stressful, yes. Parties, being alone in a public place, especially one that requires some form of social interaction like a restaurant or store, informal conversations in hallways and the teachers' lounge, stuff like that. For those situations, I'm always in a mood where interacting socially is uncomfortable to painful because of a fear of being judged negatively by others, or saying or doing something foolish or offensive. I do fine in written communication like this, where there's nobody physically here to see and hear me, no fear of committing some social faux pas that I'm not aware of because of my ignorance of all the little rules of social interaction.

I can understand that. I do need something, but I generally able to get enough from my classes and from my wife and sister.

Thank you.

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

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