This is such a huge basket of eggs, I don't even know where to start. I know it wasn't directed to me, but you're making some pretty bad assumptions:
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In a sence I agree, but also, it is the responsability of the person who SPEAKS those words, to consider the respect due to another human being.
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If you remember, we got here because someone was
blaming a guy for making a comment about her nether regions and how it was
still affecting her today.
If we want to get down to the "both parties are at blame" scenario, then I think we ALL agree, even Toaster. It's certainly the responsibility of the speaker to consider the feelings of the reciever, just as it is the reciever's responsibility to determine how it effects their self-worth and self-esteem. But just because someone either (a) didn't consider your feelings or (b) considered your feelings and didn't care doesn't mean that we should continue to let it effect our self-esteem.
To be frank, unless the guy told her about her nether-regions about 15 minutes ago, she no longer has a right (in my book) to be concerned about it. If she's concerned about it, then she skipped the important part of human interaction -
Is this person right? Does this person's opinion matter to me? Do I agree with them? Is it something I can change? If so, what can I change?
If the answer is NO to any of these questions, then you forget it and dismiss the other person as being poor at considering your feelings.
If it still bothers you, then YOU are at fault, not the speaker.