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Originally Posted by Toaster126
Oh sure, they don't escape the label of "asshole". But it's better to be an asshole than internalize hateful language and turn it into a self-fufilling prophecy, no?
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I doubt those are the only two choices. I don't buy the "I'm an asshole" defense to rude behavior or offensive language. We all have a responsibility to treat others with basic courtesy.
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Originally Posted by JinnKai
Seconded.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Did anyone else hear this in kindergarten? Well, it stuck with me, and I wish it stuck with more people.
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Like many things we simplify for children to teach them a specific lesson, this one really isn't true on a broad scale. Words can hurt, quite deeply at times, and in ways longer lasting than simple physical pain.
Personal responsibility works both ways. Yes, people should try be careful not to overreact to external judgments or innocent remarks. People shouldn't go looking for things about which to be offended. People should also be courteous in regards to the needs and feelings of others.
It's easy enough to say, "People shouldn't be oversensitive." It's true, but very vague, and makes for an easy out for those who don't want to go to the effort of making reasonable adjustments their behavior or assessing their own responsibity in hurting another's feelings.
Perhaps people shouldn't be affected so strongly by negative external judgments. I don't know exactly where to draw the line. But we should recognize that most people are affected by external judgements to different degrees, and take that into account when dealing with them.
Words have the power to do great good. They also have the power to do great harm. It matters how we use that power.
Gilda