When words fail us
I found this compilation on Snopes' Urban Legends Reference site. All of these are collected examples from when people on the internet let the English language get away from them a little bit.
If marcopolo were still here, I'd dare him to read these without laughing.
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From the "Not only was it sorted, it was collated too" file:
Only after he realized we caught him red handed, he told me the entire sorted story of why he did what he did.
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From the "Once the chickens have flown the coop" file:
I have my company attorney trying to get in touch with her to re-coop my foolish and negligent loss.
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From the "Global affairs" file:
...and they have this world wind romance.
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From the "He might not be much to look at, but at least he's honest" file:
Once I open the door to the room, she was in my arms, legs around my waste.
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From the "Kinkos or K-Mart?" file:
Man.. I'm really starting to love this game! It's kinda like the girl next store.
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From the "When one of those half-hearted gals just won't do" file:
But for all intensive purposes she has a good reputation and the gents who see her adore her.
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From the "Las Vegas offers three-play, five-play, ten-play, fifty-play, and hundred-play video poker, but some people still aren't satisfied" file:
There was no four play so I was not feeling very turned on.
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From the "Too much Wonder Woman will do that to you" file:
The autopsy revealed that Kevin had died from a heroine overdose.
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From the "Fear of wild drumming" file:
What if someone in your household called this number? Will there be negative percussions?
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From the "You mean there was vanity before the Material Girl hit the scene?" file:
She has a pre-Madonna complex.
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From the "It's slippery and expensive" file:
I heard that if you played Stairway to Heaven backwords, it says something about Satin.
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Living is easy with eyes closed.
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