Originally Posted by Gilda

This is not about imposing a standard on others. If you want to discuss that, please do so in one of the threads already going on that subject.

This is about how you view yourself.

Do you think of yourself as a good person?
If so, please, don't hesitate to toot your own horn. You've been invited, so it isn't vanity to brag about how great you are .
If not, what makes you think this, and what, if anything, are you doing to improve?

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I don't think of myself as a good person. I've done more things to harm myself and to harm others than I have brought good into the world. In one case, a failing of personal strength and moral character so great it has caused irreparable harm to others, to such a degree that no matter what I am to do in the future, I can never fully atone. One of those is someone very close to me. I have her forgiveness, but that does not undo the harm that I caused.

Further, my youth was spent in self-destructive behavior aimed at punishing myself for never being good enough instead of having the courage to try to improve myself and atone for what I'd done.

My actions thus far in my life have resulted in more harm to others than good, but such a large margin that it is likely that no matter how much good I manage to do it the time remaining to me, I fear I'll never be able to tip the balance the other way. The sum will always come out in the red. Further, I see myself continually failing at improving myself because I tend to give in to irrational fears.

What am I doing about this? Unfortunately, much of what I do still remains as an attempt at self-improvement, at moving myself forward, which is ultimately selfish. It doesn't harm others, but it certainly is not making up for the harm I've caused others.

Though I'm far from being able to balance things to be a good person, I think I can at least not cause further harm and try to atone for some of what I've done. I try to do good things. I'm polite. I try to be considerate of the needs of others. I respect individual differences and try to encourage those within my admittedly small range of influence to better themselves. I avoid unnecessary criticism or doing things that would hurt, either through intent or inadventantly. I try to give people more than one chance. We all make mistakes. I try to be compassionate, to see how things might be for someone else, and I try to withhold judgment before I have all the facts. Most of all I try to be tolerant and respectful of others when what they do and how they do it does not harm other people unnecessarily.

I try to make life better, more pleasant, for those I'm around. I may not always succeed, but I do think the effor counts for something.

Gilda