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He doesn't need to pardon himself. He could devour a room full of innocent school children and simply by claiming that there were suspected terrorists amongst the children he would be labelled a hero by the republican party(as long as the elections were already over).
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According to some he killed off 3000 civilian Americans in order to start a war, compared with this allegation yours is hardly trolling.
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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas
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