Originally Posted by Deltona Couple

In all honesty, I think you are getting the wrong idea about rules and boundaries. They are not made to step around fears or insecurities. They are a baseline to help set an allowable standard. Just like your typical marriage has its "boundaries" in the social aspect, people who "swing" with other couples also set their own limits to what is acceptable. I wouldn't consider it insecurity if two people agree that say, they will only go only as far as soft-swapping with others, because that is their choice.
Its a conscious decision that is made between two couples.