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Originally Posted by Ustwo
I think when you have a bunch of rules, odds are you are not really 'ready' for that kind of activity.
While I can understand people in sensative jobs afraid of being 'outed' and going out of state etc, if you need to do it with total strangers you will never see again for fear of it changing the feelings you have for your spouse, odds are you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.
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Agreed. Rules designed to "route around" discomfort do nothing but solidify the discomfort, and so weaken the relationship.
It's like, one day my refrigerator dies. One thing I can do is to deal with that; get it repaired, get it replaced, whatever. The other thing I can do is make a bunch of rules to compensate for my fridge being broken. That is, I can just decide I can't keep cold food in my house anymore. So any cold food has to be eaten immediately. No gallon jugs of milk--only buy one half-pint at a time. Kinda silly, hunh?