Gilda

This isn't unusual. Most people have at some point in their lives experienced some same sex attraction. At times in my past I identified as straight and bi. It took me a while to work things out. The best way to deal with it is accept that whatever attraction you feel for other adults is normal and healthy (so long as no children are involved) and not worry about which label to use. I say this, but I'm not so good at it myself. I seem to have a need for the label, to be able to define things in a concrete way, so I do understand to a degree what you're saying here.

I'd be interested to know if this is a clinical diagnosis from a qualified therapist or psychologist, or a self-diagnosis.

We have to distiguish between the common usage of the word homophobia and clinical forms of specific phobia. In common usage, "homophobia" is a general term for prejudice against and/or dislike of homosexuals (with bisexuals and transsexuals almost always included). In other words, bigotry. This, clearly, is wrong.

What you seem to be doing is drawing a parallel to the clinical definition of a specific phobia as a way of defending your homophobia. Specific phobia is an anxiety class disorder. You do at least acknowledge that it's irrational, but your claim that there's nothing wrong with it is not accurate. First, homophobia is not an identified phobia in the DSM IV, nor does it fit well in any of the listed subtypes. All clinical phobias are harmful by definitions, an indication that something is wrong, else they wouldn't be phobias.

These are the relevant criteria:

• Marked and persistent fear that is excessive or unreasonable, cued by the presence or anticipation of a specific object or situation (e.g., flying, heights, animals, receiving an injection, seeing blood).
• Exposure to the phobic stimulus almost invariably provokes an immediate anxiety response, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed Panic Attack. Note: In children, the anxiety may be expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, or clinging.
• The person recognizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable. Note: In children, this feature may be absent.
• The phobic situation(s) is avoided or else is endured with intense anxiety or distress.
• The avoidance, anxious anticipation, or distress in the feared situation(s) interferes significantly with the person's normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.

Notice the bold part, that to be a clinical specific phobia, it must cause serious impairment of some kind. All clinical phobias are anxiety disorders, emphasis on disorder.

There is something wrong with homophobia. Even if we accept that it's a clinical anxiety disorder (which I think is a dubious claim at best), it is an indication that something is wrong. Describing it in clinical terms does not free you from responsibility for dealing with how it affects your attitudes and behaviors.

It's common, both for straight and gay people to not want to date or be intimate with bisexuals. I really can't understand this attitude among homosexuals, who can end up treating bisexuals with the same prejudice as heteros do us.

However, who you do and don't choose to have sex and or a romantic relationship with is entirely your choice to make, and it's really not my or anyone else's place to judge that. Sexual preference is a complex and personal thing that should be up to the individual. I won't have sex with a man, nor with a butch lesbian. They just do nothing for me. I'm more physically attracted to Asians and Latinas than to other ethnic groups.

So long as it involves consenting adults, you're entitled to whatever sexual preference you like. It's a problem only when it interferes with your ability to build a relationship or affects others not involved, say if you object to a friend dating a bisexual.

Let me ask you a question before I head off to work. I'm homosexual, married to another woman. Let's say we were to meet casually, say to discuss a common interest like, for example comic books, or perhaps you were a student in one of my classes. Would being in my presense and interacting with me in a casual, non sexual way, perhaps in a discussion of art or as a student to a teacher, or as a client for whatever is your profession cause a strong, involuntary anxiety in you? Would you be afraid of talking to me or interacting with me in a non-sexual manner? Would this anxiety be so great that it would make you unable to function normally and have a healthy interaction, primarily because I'm homosexual?

Understand, I'm not trying to bait you, and I'm not going to take offense if the answer is yes, I'm just honestly curious as to how your homophobia manifests itself. I have to go to work. I'll check back here later on.

Gilda

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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

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