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Originally Posted by ratbastid
Ok. I appreciate your concern, but I'm confused by this.
What exactly do you think polyamory is?
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A better question is what do you think it is?
All I can determine from a message board I frequent with a poly forum is most polys don't really have a clue to this question either.
To me it would have to be a together thing, with everyone in the group being 'equal' in terms of love etc.
What I find are terms like 'secondary', and question like 'Would it upset you if your secondary looked for their own primary' and other even more confused people. Some seem to be swingers that don't want to say that love and sex can be seperate, some are basically harems. I see a lot of FMF's where its a husband and bi-wife who picked up a younger stray female along the way.
What I think would be very bad though is a situation where two women love a man but don't love each other. What makes one fall in love I don't know but I'm not a romantic, its chemical, and its hard to be rational about it. I've seen this as a topic time and time again, and its always a disaster for someone. This is why I think 1-1 dating is bad.
I'd say MFM poly would be even worse in this case, but you almost never see that, as men are still men, and MFM goes against their nature. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but if you knew a couple were a triad and would be given money by guessing if it were MFM or FMF, the safe money is always on the FMF.
I was sort of disapointed from my investigation of poly relationships. It seems that few are able to last long term, (though my money is on the MFF+ types being the only ones who could make it) and most seem no different than swinging with close friends.